Individualized Education Plan: Lunatic Autism Mom

Individualized Education Plan (IEP)
Name: Maggie (aka: Lunatic Autism Mom)
Agency: House on the hill, the one with the weeds in the flower beds.
IEP Team Meeting Date: 08/29/11

Participants: Maggie (mom); Rob (hubbie); Cam (ASD kid #1); Adam (ASD kid #2)

Eligibility: C-Section 2001 & 2004; ASD Diagnosis 2004 & 2007

Primary Disability: Autism Induced Lunacy (AIL)

Supplementary Aids, Services, Supports: Medication as prescribed, Weekly Sanity Checks with a professional, Spousal Support, YMCA, Husband's Salary.

GOALS & OBJECTIVES:

Goal #1
The Lunatic Autism Mom will keep everything in the calendar most at her disposal (phone) and will synch it to the household electronic calendar at least weekly.
by: 9/1/11
Resources to help meet this goal: This will be coordinated through the support of helpful hubby in ensuring that the technology "talks" to one another and by keeping the phone at hand at all times.
**This goal is 99% completed**

Goal #2 
The Lunatic Autism Mom will stay home one full day per week with the exception of driving the kids to and from school, no exceptions will be made for any reason.
by: 10/1/11
Resources to help meet this goal: Lunatic Autism Mom will chose one day per week, prior to that week, and will schedule that as her HOME day. She will not brush her hair, will wear sweats or pjs to school drop off and will, in general, be too embarassed at her attire and appearance to step foot out of her car. This day can be spent accomplishing long over-due tasks (painting), catching up on housework (laundry) or allowing herself to be sick when the fever is over 99.9 degrees (sleep).
**Week 1 HOME day is currently scheduled!**

Goal #3
The Lunatic Autism Mom needs more energy and needs to get in shape.
by: 9/1/11
Resources to help meet this goal: Lunatic Autism Mom has hired a trainer to literally kick her ass into shape. She will meet with said trainer 2 times per week for a minimum of 10 sessions with the option to increase her sessions to 20. She will not stress over the cost of this trainer and will not cry at the assessment appointment since"you have to start somewhere".
**Assessment this Thursday, please pray for me.**

Goal #4
The Lunatic Autism Mom will schedule fun and relaxing things during school hours at a minimum of one per week.
by: 9/1/11
Resources to help meet this goal: The primary resource will be wonderfully supportive and caring hubby's paycheck. Occasional weeks might allow for a 1 hour relaxation massage and other weeks might allow for a guilt free hour of silence at the local library. In between, the Lunatic Autism Mom will try not to skip hair cuts and will not allow her gray roots to grow to obviousness (as they are now). The Lunatic Autism Mom will "put her money where her mouth is" and take care of everyone in her family including herself.
**Seriously, I am 35 and have a full head of gray hair. I've been dying it since I was 16, bad genes I guess. How does one acquire that casual, classic, youthful, silver gray bob that looks so good on the models in JJill and Lands End Catalog? I would totally consider letting it go if I knew I could look like that in the end!**

Goal #5 (the final goal)
The Lunatic Autism Mom would like to learn something new this year. Something new could be kayaking, a foreign language, standing board paddling, snowboarding/skiing or visiting local museums for general knowledge.
by: the end of the school year
Resources to help meet this goal: the entire Smithsonian, various lakes and the Chesapeake Bay, the local library, Liberty Mountain and the kindness and support of handsome hubby to chillax with the boys during the hours that learning this new skill cannot be accomplished during school hours.
** Yeah like I need another hobby, I'm a big time crafter but I want to learn something not crafty, more active and something that I could eventually share with my boys once I understand the mechanics myself. **

Assessment report due: 01/01/12

In the immortal words of a person who never existed (and didn't fully understand correct grammar):

DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY.
-Yoda

Long time... no post... Lets talk cars!

Today I am running errands with my two boys and they HATE running errands with a hot a burning passion. I notice my TPMS light has come on again (tire pressure monitoring system) and this leads me to a very lengthy and quite topsy turvy all together curvy thought process about vehicles and why we drive what we do.

I have a minivan, I know shocked right? Mother of two Autistic boys and I drive a minivan. Do I like my van? Yes. Do I like driving my van? Heck no! It's a van! Quite arguably the most convenient yet boring vehicle on the planet!  But here's the thing, it's a Honda Odyssey and if you have to drive a minivan this is totally the way to go! It's a great van, very roomy, very convenient and the perfect accompaniment to the insane life of an Autism Mom. For example the TPMS light, it is telling me that my tire is low on air. Thank you TMPS light, I never ever think to check the air pressure and usually rely on my oil change place to do it for me. Speaking of which, there's a light for that too! Right now that light is telling me that it's almost time for an oil change which I am totally going to put off until school starts back up again. I absolutely cannot forget about the Variable Engine, I drive ridiculous mileage (122,215 miles to date) and when I am driving on the highway the engine will cut back to 3 cylinders to save on gas. This is a much needed and very appreciated feature.

I file all of this under the heading, "will save your sanity" but as I bought this van in 2008 it is still lacking in more sanity saving features, the first being bluetooth. I've had to add a Jabbra bluetooth speaker to the van to compensate. The month AFTER my van was built, they added bluetooth. Drat! The next model year they added power jacks to the second row of seats... I would KILL for power jacks to fuel the boys DS systems! Lastly, I hear rumors that some radios actually act like MP3 players. My friend, Andrew just bought a total bachelor car that does this and I WANT!!!! Not that the 6-CD changer isn't great and all but to only have to deal with the CD once and then never again? Heaven.

I traveled to the beach this weekend with the family, I drove and changed CDs, I drove and plugged and unplugged power cables, I drove and watched the TPMS light come on, I drove and I drove and I am starting to think that the type of car you have isn't as important as what features it offers. I think there may come a day where the final straw to push me right into insanity might just fall within the doors and wheels of my vehicle. I'm guessing I will be attempting to change a CD, plug in a power cable and my phone is going to ring at the same time as I am running late for an appointment with a specialist in Baltimore. It's just a guess but I think it's a pretty sure bet.

Just in case you are wondering... yes, I have a Minivan Step-Down Plan. After two Honda Odyssey vans I feel I have put in my mini-van driving time but to go to a car (even a big one) would be a shock to the system. In between there should be something van-like but not actually a van... in my dreams I see this:

Thoughts on a Summer Vacation... so far.

Distant are the memories of lazy summer days of my youth where I spent every waking second in the sun making a mess and creating havoc. Now the lazy days of summer don't exist for I am the Lunatic Autism Mom and the schedule is full and the to-do list is growing. BUT! Within the chaos we strive to find fun... even if it has to be scheduled in between everything else and written down (in ink) so that it is not forgotten.

We are now on week two of summer vacation, we've had some pretty good successes and some pretty awesome fights and meltdowns. Truly truly inspired meltdowns, seriously. But to focus on the bad while the sun is shining so bright and the house is (at this exact moment in time) quiet would be a waste. I shall save those for the lonely, rainy, altogether cruddy evenings.

This summer has brought about something rare and precious... FREE TIME! Of course it is squeezed in between some really really not free time but it has been nice to be able to do some of the things we WANT to do instead of all the things we HAVE to do. The house is trashed but at this point, who cares! Memories are being made! I'll worry about the house tomorrow.

Probably the newest and most significant thing we've done this year is camp. Not just any camp but a morning day camp with typical peers! This was spawned by my obsessive desire to provide socialization to the boys outside of a specialized program. It seems as though we have taken Special Needs Social Skills and used it as a means to learn new and bad behaviors, as well as share our own bad behaviors with other socially susceptible peers. I'm starting to think that this may be the biggest weakness with Social Skills classes as a whole, they do teach socialization but they do so within a very specific group which is not at all representative of the world at large. Alas, that is a rant for another day.

Cameron (my 9 year old) chose Kids take over the Kitchen at our local Kids on Campus program at the Community College. It was a WONDERFUL experience. He had some difficulties but I was able to send an aide with him from our Maryland Autism Waiver provider. He had a great week and is already asking to take more camp classes-- YAY! Lucky for me they are offered all the time and not just in the summer.

Adam (my 5 year old) chose two Lego Class sessions in the same program. He does not have an aide and does not have the waiver so I was really really stressed about sending him to the camp. The staff has been AMAZING with him, keeping an extra eye on him to make sure he doesn't wander and they keep the door closed so he doesn't pull off an escape. Also, it's freaking LEGOS! The kid is in heaven.

I scheduled these camps on opposite weeks so that I could have one week with just Adam all to myself and then the next week with just Cameron all to myself. We made plans for the week and have enjoyed going out for breakfast, running some errands and going to the library. I hope I will be able to schedule it this way every year, I have loved spending the one on one time with the boys!

A special Thank You is required for Mythbusters this summer. It is thanks to their recent episode, Running on Water, that I am able to give you this clip of my boys at the community pool trying themselves to "run on water". I give them full points for trying....

A rainy day and an extreme desire to do something crafty has altered my hallway! This is a picture of the newest addition to the house... a hopscotch board. This hallway is Cameron's pacing hall and it is often that we see him getting stuck in a loop in this hall. It is my hope that this old school game will slow Cameron down, break his loop or at the very least help with those important gross motor skills.

Coming up we've got another week of Lego Camp for Adam, Extended School Year for Cameron, a trip to the beach (thanks to Daddy's work travel, we're doing a tagalong), and a Tonsillectomy for Adam to round out the summer. Lots going on... never a dull moment.

So like those long, hot summers of past, the pool is still cool, the sun is still bright, the days feel endless and the possibilities unbounded. Don't forget the SPF and have an awesome summer!

Craft Alert! Make 10

Imagine my shock this year when I attended my youngest son's Annual IEP only to find that he is barely on grade level for math! WHAT???? This was the first I was hearing of it and I was more than a little bit pissed. So.... what does this mean for a Lunatic Autism Mom? It means a working summer for Adam (and for mommy). The first concept he is having difficulties with is Making 10. I've been doing it for so long and it's so second nature to me that I didn't really know how to go about practicing Making 10 this summer. I wanted something more fun than flash cards (although I am not opposed) and I wanted to limit screen time with Math iPad Apps (although I am not opposed) and here is what I came up with for my Lego loving boy:

LEGO MAKE 10

and here is how you make it:

Start with extra  Legos (I decided to use Duplo because we don't play with them anymore) & a label maker.

Print out all the numbers you need to make 10 and a bunch of '+' symbols. Don't forget to make a label for your goal (Equation Goal: Make 10)

Put them on the blocks (trim if necessary).

Stack 'em up to make sure you haven't forgotten any.

And you are ready to go! Don't forget storage! 

I think I will do this again and again to get some good practice in for those more difficult math concepts. I am also trying to figure out if I can use different size Legos to represent fractions. 

Are we ready for summer?

Anyone else feeling the stress that comes with the end of the school year? Are you out already? 

We are officially on one week count down in my house. The boys are excited and I am stressed! We started off this week with a book fair at school complete with carnival. One boy was quite pissed that we could not attend, one boy was quite pleased that he didn't have to go. I dislike the 50/50 split immensely. We will cap off the week with the end of year award ceremony! All the kids get an award so arrive when your class is scheduled, pick a comfortable seat, and get ready for a long and hot afternoon. 

End of year brings end of year teacher gifts! I love love love to give our teachers gifts. My boys are not easy students and our teachers this year were exceptional. When I added up everyone who helps the boys through-out the day (every day), I came up with **15** teachers and **5** assistants/specials teacher! YIKES!!!!  I guess I better get busy on those personalized clip boards. Don't worry, I promise to post pictures. 

End of year also bring IEPs! For Adam we have had two so far, his annual in which we requested "additional adult support" and a second IEP to evaluate the data to determine if he qualified for "additional adult support". I am a firm believer in data and it showed that Adam needed redirection more than 320 times in 9 days (that may look like a typo, but it isn't) which makes me wonder how he made it through this year at all and why this problem hasn't been noticed sooner. I have ALWAYS said that it is my higher functioning ASD child who is going to slip through the cracks, this is evidence and I will need to be more vigilant from now on. We will have another meeting this summer after they have evaluated staffing which sounds like they are putting me off and I think they totally are. Those meetings were exhausting so I don't mind taking a few weeks to regroup before we go back to the table. 

Cameron's IEP is next week. This entire year we've been doing the medication trials and now its time to re-evaluate how the year has gone as a whole instead of weekly and monthly snapshots. I was surprised to see just how much Cameron is expressing an interest in being included in the "typical" classroom when in the past he has preferred the extra attention by the teacher and didn't really give a fig about the other kids. I think he is starting to notice girls *sigh*. Not a lot of special needs girls given that ASD is taking over the program and the incidence rate of boys with ASD far outnumbers the girls. I am hoping that we can find some new inclusion opportunities going in to next year at this IEP meeting. He currently is only included in Math (his strongest subject) and some Specials classes. 

Awards Ceremonies.... IEPs..... end of year chaos... Are we ready for summer??

There are big pros and cons to the summer months. How awesome it is to be able to stay in jammies until mid-morning (or later) because you have no place to be? That, for me, is the best part of summer, we can relax that morning schedule for a bit. We've got some inclusive camps coming up, Extended School Year will fill up half the day Mon-Thurs in July, we're going ahead with RDI and we'll be keeping up with all our specialist appointments PLUS Adam has to have his tonsils and adenoids out and we are hoping to take a family vacation. How it is again that I thought summer was ever relaxing? On the bright side, I should be home more so I can blog more! If you have any ideas and requests please let me know! I've got partially completed posts on the topics of IEPs (survival of the fittest or the loudest?) and Autism Crafts (a sub-genre of itself in my home!).  See you at the pool! Don't forget the SPF 1,000!

Lets all bounce!

Its been a while since I've posted and people have sent me some fabulous blog ideas which are currently in the works.  By "in the works" I mean, I've been thinking about them A LOT but not much else and here is why.... I'm too busy BOUNCING!

Sounds fun, right? Enh... not so much.  You know when you have a particularly stressful meeting and you leave completely drained, mentally, emotionally and physically? Of course you do! Then you look at the clock and realize thats its only 10:30am and you still have the whole day to be productive, accomplish goals, cross off the to-dos and don't forget to pick up the kids from school! It is then that I require a BOUNCE! Bouncing is when I finish a draining task and have to get myself back on track and here is how to do it:

1. Let yourself go. Go ahead and fall all the way down. You're exhausted? Take a quick nap. You're stressed? Take a deep breath (or 10). You're angry? Turn up the radio as loud as you want sing out loud, scream or yell (please no babies in the car). You need to talk, rant, be heard? Call your "person" (i.e Husband, friend, Mommy, Daddy). You're sad or that point past sad where you are mad that you are sad? Go ahead an have a big cry, don't worry no one is watching. 

2. Stay down for a bit, get it all out. Stay down as long as you need to (or lets be honest, as long as you can). 

3. Then BOUNCE! Sit up. Stand up. Stretch out. Deep breath. Look around. Find your list. Get back on track. Put the stressful event behind you for now and feel free to re-visit it later when you have more time and mental capacity (I prefer the hours after the kids go to bed). 

Now I don't know if this is the most psychologically appropriate way to come back from a stressful event but it does help me get stuff done when really all I want to do is crawl back in bed and forget that the morning ever happened. Last week truly tested my BOUNCE theory, seriously I thought I would need to find a more supportive bra I was bouncing so much!

Monday: IEP (just under 3 hours long!) BOUNCE, Cameron's in home therapy after school.

Tuesday: Allergy Shot with 30 minute wait (which I am convinced is more stressful for me than my son!) BOUNCE

Wednesday: Chiropractor (for me!), Meeting with new RDI consultant BOUNCE, Sanity Check BOUNCE, Specialist Appointment in Baltimore at Kennedy Kreiger BOUNCE, my baby boy's 7th birthday!!!! (I needed all those bounces to be fully present for his special day)

Thursday: Both boys go to the dentist! BOUNCE BOUNCE (no cavities!), another Specialist Appointment in Baltimore at Kennedy Kreiger BOUNCE.

Friday: Baby boy's annual check up BOUNCE, Mommy's med check (I'm on track!), Chaperone the 3rd grade field trip to the Earth Space Science Lab which would have been great except that MY 3rd grader wanted to learn all about space (one of his passions) and not about fossils and the water table. oops! BOUNCE. Cameron's in home therapy after school.

I have NO IDEA what my Lunatic Autism Mommy brain was thinking when I scheduled last week. I will say though that 2 of those appointments were last minute additions and, in my defense, out of my control. The good news is that with all my BOUNCING, I got to skip my Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred video work outs. The bad news is that she is back this week and just waiting on me to get back on track. I think I'll chose the gym instead.... maybe they have a trampoline!  :)

Happy Mother's Day

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Mother's Day! At the end of my day I want to give you all a gift of a list of things I hope for each and every one of you.

• Respect- I hope that you are given the respect you deserve from the school, the therapists that work with your child, your friends and family and the community in which you live. Yours is not an easy job and it can be made only easier by being given the respect you deserve for your knowledge, your gut instincts and your commitment.
• Honor- I hope that you will honor yourself, your body and your needs. Know when you need a break, a hug or a snuggle and allow those around you to help you.
• Support- Support of friends, family and community. I hope that you will value this as a gift and make use of it when you need.
• Endurance- I hope that when endurance is needed, it is found. Be it on a long wakeful night or on a month long fight, I know you all have it in you.
• Strength- Strength to ignore the stares of the people who don't understand and will never fully comprehend, strength to stand up for your child when they can't stand up for themselves, strength to fight the fight every single day, day after day and never give up.
• Power- Power to use your voice and the ability to alter the volume to meet your need. To remain calm with your child when all you want to do is scream, to be firm at an IEP when all you want to do is crumble. 
• Tears- I hope that you value the tears you shed as a way to release the stress of the every day and to never hold back the emotions that make you human. Tears do not make you weak and they are not a waste of time.
• Faith- Faith in yourself, faith in your child, faith in your partner, faith in your God. Wherever you put your faith, allow it to be strong and unwavering.
• Passion- Passion for life and love. If you are going to feel it, you may as well be passionate about it. 
• Knowledge- Use your brain, feed it facts, trust your knowledge and share it with others.
• Words- be it sign, PECS, approximation, spoken or felt, keep the words close to your heart. Never give up on hearing Mom and Love. They will come and they are precious.
• Hugs & Kisses- Each and every hug is unique and special. Each kiss is love given and received.
• Time- Not just time on a watch but time to hold dear what is fleeting. It passes so quickly and yet some days not quickly enough. Time is a constant that can bring your day back on track, it is also a precious count down from 10-0 that can bring yourself back on track as well.
• Breath- don't forget to breathe, this is the one thing that you can do for yourself that costs no money and can be done in a little bit of time. 
• LOVE- I wish for you love, to be given freely and received gratefully. It is not found in grand gestures but in quiet moments and precious connections. 

My most treasured Mother's Day gift today came from each of my boys at two very different times.  First thing this morning, I'm looking haggard and worn and Adam leads me to the couch to sit down. He takes my hand and says, "Happy Mother's Day Mom" and then places a kiss on my palm. He closes my fingers over it and says, "Keep that one for later." Putting Cameron into bed, he usually says, "Love You Mom" and turns on his side. Tonight he said, "I need a hug, will you sit by me?" Precious moments, lasting memories, love personified. Happy Mother's Day everyone.