Feel Free to Continue the Regularly Scheduled Debate... Without Me

I really really didn't want to write about this. I told myself, “Lunatic, don't do it. Just don't. DO NOT”. Good to know I don't listen to myself any better than I listen to anyone else.

I saw the fundraising effort at Chili's for NAA, I thought okay, kinda nice someone is supporting a group other than Autism Speaks for a change... didn't matter, we don't have a Chili's so I couldn't have gone anyway. Whatever, no big deal.

Except it became a big freaking deal.

The first thing I saw was an article written by Forbes citing that NAA supports the idea that vaccines could possibly play a role in a child having Autism. Commenters to the article said, “Don't support this event! Write to Chili's and tell them it's not okay!”

I responded to that posting with, “I don't even think of vaccines with I think of NAA, the first thing that comes to my mind is their Big Red Box campaign. If we continue to fight about the vaccine issue, companies like Chili's will just pull their support.”

And that is exactly what they did.

So is that a WIN?

Everyone who wrote to Chili's to stop their fundraising efforts and to tell them how wrong they are, do you now feel vindicated?

Congratulations, pat yourself on the back. You are a bully.

You don't speak for the entire Autism community and there is a point beyond educating that ceases to further your cause and you've found it.

Does it help our community that an on-going argument has and will continue to limit fundraising opportunities?

Anyone who read any portion of the comments to the Forbes article or blog post or Facebook post should have been appalled by our community. Parent calling parents idiots, study being cited against study. Vaccines cause autism! Vaccines never have and never will cause Autism! Its the same argument EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And it has gotten us nowhere.

It's no secret that I HATE this debate. I've said it before. I fail to see how constantly debating this issue serves to help the Autism community because in the overall scheme of things vaccines are a small fraction of a small part of one piece of Autism yet the majority of discussions revolve around vaccines. It's the question I am asked the most, “do you think vaccines caused your boys Autism?”

NO, I do not think vaccines caused my boys Autism. When we got our diagnosis, the vaccine theory was in its heyday and of course I researched it. I educated myself, I ignored the conspiracy theorists, I made my own conclusion, came up with a strategy that I was comfortable with and then I MOVED ON! Ultimately, the cause of my kids Autism doesn't help me much right now. They have it, I can't un-do anything I may or may not have done in the past so I built a bridge and got over it. Now I spend my time focusing on the things that matter right now: their education, their health (which includes boosters when needed as determined by titer checks, not because of Autism but because it's the smart thing to do), their mental state and their future.

Thanks to my friend at No, Strike That for helping me figure out how to make this.
(Sorry I didn't use the pic of Christopher Titus you gave me,
that was just a lot of face for this little page.)

With as vehemently as people fight for and against the vaccine theory, I have to wonder if convincing someone of their point makes their child less Autistic? Is that the goal or is your opinion only validated when you convince someone else to believe you? 

Here's a novel idea, if you don't support NAA then don't go to Chili's on the night they have a fundraiser for NAA. How about that? It doesn't take anything away from your fight. You keep your fight and support the organizations with which you agree, the people who support NAA can support their cause. It didn't have to become this big deal, there didn't need to be arguments and name calling all over the comments sections, we didn't have to show the world how divided we are. I always thought of the Autism community as one of support with the common goal of acceptance but I was shown exactly how wrong I am in that thinking.

There will always be parents out there that believe that vaccines caused their child's Autism. I am not going to be the person who tells them that they are wrong in their belief. I don't know their story or circumstances and there is absolutely nothing I can say that will convince them otherwise. I'm not even going to try.

My belief that vaccines did not cause my child's Autism should not in any way alter your belief either. I'm not going to bother trying to convince you because it doesn't matter if you believe me or not. My fight in no way alters your life trajectory. Maintain course and I will do the same.

What I would like to try and convince you is that continuing these kinds of arguments will only serve to reduce the level of public and corporate support. We are supposed to be spreading AWARENESS and ACCEPTANCE this month, instead of conveying the idea of “stand with us!” we've shown everyone that we cannot even stand together.

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As for Chili's, I can honestly say that I can't blame them for canceling the fundraising event. They probably had no idea just how divided we are, but don't worry! We showed them! They are in a 'damned if I do' 'damned if I don't' situation and they opted out.  I wish they had not, but they did and I respect their decision.
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