Monday, July 15, 2013

The Week (Month? Quarter?) In Review

It occurred to me a while back that I am online all the time (seriously, all the time), and I'm pretty okay updating the Rantings Facebook page but I never seem to find the time to write a blog post (at least not as good of one as I would like). To that end, I know some people read my blog only and some people read the Facebook page only and the only way I can think to cross the two is to do some weekly roundups! 

Welcome to my first roundup with additional pictures (when I have them), website links and all my witty banter (*snicker*) all in one convenient place!! 


Learning the real board game because he loves the iPad version so much. May cause flappiness 


My 9 year old with some serious anxiety issues has a well child visit this morning. This could go one of two ways but the likelihood of it end on the better of the two is pretty minimal. We did blood work for a titer check last week and that ranked in the top 10 worst ASD experiences of my life, it wasn't his first blood draws but it certainly was the most difficult. I'm pretty confident that his titers will show strong enough immunity to avoid any shots today, if they don't there will still be no shots today. First there will be much research (again since data changes) before I consent and create a safe schedule. That's just how this lunatic rolls.

Transparency + Predictability = Well Child Visit WIN! 

Adam did so well. I told him EVERYTHING the doctor was going to do and I discussed with him everything I was going to talk about with the doctor (vaccinations, anxiety, ADHD, school, stress). I assured him that even if his labs showed that he needed boosters, he would not receive them today. Thankfully, his labs came back with *very* high titers and no vaccinations are needed. There may be a push back from the school but my doctor is on my side on this one and is willing to fight the fight with me. She is also agrees that medicating is not a good idea since medicating for one issue would make the other worse. Recommendations: Healthy diet, exercise, continuing with Behavior Psych. So far today is a WIN 

This is so true. (link to a wonderful article about finding acceptance as the parent of a special needs child in a room full of moms of neurotypical kids)
The Invisible Mom

(later evening)

'Cause that's how I roll.

I have the *full* county IEP packet in hand to prep for our middle school placement meeting next week. I also have a half carton of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy and a container of Carmel sauce. I guess I know how my evening is going to go down.


(middle of the night)
Today I'm wondering... If I gave up a night of sleep and instead cleaned every room that does not contain a sleeping human, would I get caught up? I fear not.

(early evening)
I so very rarely make sweeping statements that start with "my child will never..." There is a guarantee within those words what mean, your child will absolutely... That being said, I hate Kidz Bop with a burning passion and I will do everything in my power to keep it out of my home and car. My take on it is, just listen to the REAL song by the ACTUAL artist! They do play it at school though, so my sons often give me updates on which songs have made it to Kidz Bop stardom. You can imagine how today has gone since my 11 year old learned that Kidz Bop 24 contained a song by his arch nemesis Demi Lovato... Yeah, it's gone about as well as the "music" on Kidz Bop 24 is good (which is to say, BAD!!)


Online summer school is kicking MY ass. 9 year old really really just doesn't want to do it and constantly gives up. Giving up is my Lunatic Autism Mom red button #1. Never give up. Never ever.

(early evening)
Haircuts this afternoon. It used to be that I would look forward to lazy summer days with nothing planned, now I would kill for just one afternoon without an appointment of some sort. Forget mornings, we NEVER EVER get a morning off.


Can't walk to ESY today because of the looming threat of thunderstorms in the area. The extra :15 minutes that driving affords feels a little decadent.

I've officially decided which part of the day I dislike the most! No, it's not morning (although they can really suck some days...). The part of the day I dislike the MOST is the first :15 minutes after we walk in the door and the boys are dumping all their stuff everywhere and I'm barking orders like, "hang up your jacket, put your shoes in the bins" and they are simultaneously asking, "Can I get on the computer? Can I play on wii? Whats for lunch?" and I'm trying to unload the perishable items from the grocery bags and the cat is on the table... Yes, that is the part of the day I hate the most.

(early evening)
I found an extremely interesting Smithsonian online exhibit, part of which is the "Ugly Law" of 1867. Wow. 

“Any person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated, or in any way deformed so as to be an unsightly or disgusting object, or an improper person to be allowed in or on the streets, highways, thoroughfares or public places in the City of County of San Francisco, shall not therein or thereon expose himself or herself to public view.” —San Francisco “Ugly Law,” 1867

(late evening)
My alter-ego decided to cop and attitude:

SOON. The county IEP looms, placement is imminent. 
I freaking hope so!!! We're running out of summer! I vow to put away my IEP Lunatic Autism Mom photo as soon as this fight is behind us. 
Until then we shall remain vigilant!!!

(very late evening remembering the conversations of the day with my 9 year old)
9 year old: Can you draw a star on my picture?
Me: Sure, where?
9 year old: In the vomit. 
Me: Of course.

Another gem from my 9 year old today (riding in the car to Target)... 
"Mom, I miss my friend Skylar."
Me: "I know, but summer is almost over and you will see him when school starts." 
"He's much smarter than me."
Me: "Skylar is a very smart boy and a nice boy too, but so are you."
"He likes girls. I like boys."
Me: "That might change some day, both boys and girls make excellent friends." *I'm soooo not going into the other meaning of that one!*


Friday = NeuroBehavioral appointment.

(late morning)
We got a spot for ASkate next Thursday!!!

Friday confession time: After an NBU appointment first thing this morning (plus the accompanying 1 hr drive each way), lunch with the hubs, a chiropractor appointment for all 3 of us and what should have been (but wasn't) a quick trip to the grocery store for a few items to make french bread pizza tonight... I've put one child on the Playstation and the other on the computer so that I can go upstairs, put on my comfy jammies and zone out for :15 minutes. Lets hope I don't fall asleep because they will totally remain quiet and on screens until the end of time if I let them.


Friday, July 5, 2013

Breaking Me

I didn't even realize I was stressed out today. I mean sure, we had ESY plus 2 appointments at Kennedy Krieger which meant the hubs and I were juggling things. I really wanted to be with my 9 year old at his 1 hour drop-in ESY appointment (we walk together and I love it) AND I wanted to be at my 11 year old's NeuroBehavioral Unit appointment, but I couldn't be at both. NBU won and the hubs took the 9year old to ESY. We met up for lunch and then I continued on to Baltimore with both boys for my 9 year old's Behavioral Psych appointment and the Hubs went to work. Everything was okay, really, there wasn't any rushing, it all seemed planned perfectly until...

When Behavioral Psych was over I felt so relieved, like I had been holding my breath. I have no idea why. I declared it a milkshake day because it was snack time, it was hot outside and the boys had done an excellent job. Baltimore has ONE Sonic and if I drive just right, I can put it in my path on the way home. I ordered 3 small shakes and anxiously awaited our Choc covered Strawberry for my 11 year old, Chocolate for my 9 year old and Hot Fudge for myself. I figured it was a good day to splurge. Except that they got the order all wrong. They brought the 11 year old a small but the 9 year old a medium and me a medium. I kept my mouth shut and figured as long as the boys didnt notice, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. (Except that I am really worried about my 9 year old's weight and he really shouldn't be having a milkshake much less a MEDIUM). The boys were happy so I tried my milkshake and it wasn't hot fudge, it wasn't even chocolate, it was vanilla (I hate vanilla).

I sat there stewing, I really don't need a milk shake, I really need to lose a lot of weight. But I wanted one. I NEVER EVER send anything back for myself, seriously, never. It takes more time and I am always weighing the boys ability to wait over whether or not I can just live with the mistake but today I REALLY wanted that milk shake. So I pushed the button and told them about the error. They said they would bring out a new milkshake ASAP. Except they didn't. I waited for 10 minutes at which point the boys were getting restless and wanting to go home and we still had about an hour drive ahead. So I left, without my milkshake, because really I didn't need it (but damnit I wanted it) and thats when it happened...

I broke. I don't break often, I really really try hard to stay put together but something about this day was just too much. It doesn't seem as such, I've had far more stressful days in the past (recently even). But that was it. The last straw for today. I turned the radio up for the boys, cried a little, drove home in traffic (too fast, I admit) and went over in my head every single thing, person, issue, instance that I am pissed off about and do I feel better? Nope. I don't feel one bit better. So today I won't be very good company and I don't think I'll talk much, I'll probably let the boys have too much "screens", I'll try to make a healthy dinner to counteract the medium milkshake my 9 year old shouldn't have had and when the hubs gets home I may lock myself in my room for the rest of the day because today I am done. Tomorrow is a new day...