Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Eternal Optimism Put to the Test

One of the good and also one of the most annoying things about me is that I seem to have an endless supply of optimism. That isn't to say that I don't get "down", everyone has their breaking point but for the most part I really do believe that what is best is what will be and when one door closes, another door opens. Yes, sometimes I even annoy myself.

Then there are days like today where my optimism is put to the test, where I am struggling to remain positive and fighting to keep hopeful. Today I have faced:

  • An IISS worker who has stopped answering calls and texts from myself and the company who hired her. This leaves me scrambling to get "hours" logged for the month which is imperative to remain on the Maryland Autism Waiver (and eventhough the Waiver program can be a PITA, it is still helpful).
  • A pediatric dentist who specializes in helping Special Needs kids who found a cavity in my son's tooth back in October and because he will require sedation (very scared of dentists) they have been unable to schedule him for the procedure. It's MARCH! He's in pain. They called this afternoon to tell me (again) that they have no time in the schedule and they are referring me to an oral surgeon, oh and by the way, our medical insurance is denying pre-certification for the General Anesthesia required for the surgery. Dental Insurance will only cover about half the cost of the dental procedure and Medical Insurance won't pick up any of the hospital fees. Looks like I get to prepare for another Insurance battle. 
  • Fed up with the dentist who has put off my child's care since October, I've scheduled him with a new dentist for Friday. We will be starting over. With a child who is terrified of Dentists. What could possibly go wrong? Luckily this dentist is a Preferred Provider with our Dental Insurance so they *may* cover a bit more of the costs of the dental procedure but I think I will still have to fight medical insurance to cover the anesthesia. 
  • Our Middle School options seem to be dwindling by the second. It appears as though the school is choosing the ONE option I just won't (can't) approve. I'm still visiting Private Placement schools but it's looking very unlikely that we will get any county support for the fees. I almost don't even feel like I can fight it because I know there are deep budget cuts coming and I cannot see how they could even consider my plea.
  • Moving to a county with better school programs has always been an option but it is looking more and more like we would almost have to bankrupt ourselves to do that and meanwhile, I really really love the town we live in. It's just small enough and just big enough and I would be very sad to move out of this town and closer to the chaos of the Baltimore/Washington Corridor. Don't I have enough chaos in my life already? 
  • Waiting on a possible new doctor to schedule the beginning of a medication trial for my 8 year old. First we need the evaluation summary from the NeuroPsych evaluation last month AND we need the doctor to call me back to schedule. I've been waiting since Thursday... 
  • We need to "catch up" on our Behavioral Psychology appointments, somehow I made it out of the office at the last appointment without making another one. I have no idea what I was thinking, but now I'm scrambling to get back on track. Meanwhile, maybe we need to add to our behavioral goals to start addressing my 11 year old's obsession with pregnant bellies and my 8 year old's total terror of having his teeth examined.  You know, those little issues.  
  • And my phone just won't. stop. ringing. NONE of the calls are the call-backs I'm expecting either. 

So apparently the world has turned against me today, it's decided to gang up against me and put that eternal optimism to the test. Little does it know, I have wonderful outlets like this blog which allows me to Rant and Rave and be the Lunatic that I am. I also possess the ability to run in shut-down mode similar to when someone is experiencing hypothermia and the body stops supplying the extremities... very soon I will be shutting off my Autism extremities. Lastly, is the knowledge that tomorrow is a new day. Midnight is the magical moment that the reset button is hit and with that today will be pushed into the past. I have no idea what the future will bring, but I'm looking forward to finding out. 

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