Friday, April 27, 2012

PLEASE is not a **magic** word

We are halfway to Baltimore to see a specialist at Kennedy Krieger and I realize that I've forgotten my old laptop, the one I've loaded Lego Digital Designer onto (seriously cool and FREE program for all you Lego lovers out there...I'm gonna put the link at the bottom because you need this). Around the same time my sweet Adam realizes the same thing. Cue meltdown. He is disappointed, I totally get that. I've got the mom fail issues kicking into high gear and he is in the backseat sobbing,

"Please, Please, Please PLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSEEEE go home and get it!!! I said please! I used the magic word, PLEASE!!!!" 

There was just no explaining to him that I appreciated his manners but there was just no way we could turn around and get the computer, we would miss the appointment. I could not interest him in a DS, an iPad or even my phone! His little heart was set on the computer and his design software. And no, as much as we want it to be PLEASE is not, in fact, a magical word that means you get whatever you ask for when you use it.

So now it is time to uninstall the mommy program, <whats the magic word?>

I've said it a thousand times, I've said it recently and now I need to stop saying it because:

  1. my kids are literal, they actually believe this word could contain magical properties that makes the impossible happen.
  2. if you've got an child with Autism you know, these kids are SMART! Verbal/Non-Verbal/Sign Language/PECS/Black Marker on Loose Leaf Paper you have taught them to say please and it is a glorious thing when they use it! (Seriously, write it in the baby book, its that huge!) From the first instance when you gave them an extra M&M or a few more minutes on the computer because they said please, they totally owned you. 
  3. please is not a magical word, it is a PROPER word. We use it for manners, not to get what we want.
  4. re-read 3 again.

Yesterday I attended a Brown Bag Series lunch with the topic: Managing Difficult Behaviors in Autism. I love these things, they are free and no matter how many years you've got in the school of Autism (seriously, can I get a degree in this?) chances are you will learn something new or you will remember something that you've learned before but forgot. This blog post is courtesy of a question asked by a fellow ASD mom who's child would tantrum when told no and would then yell, "but I said please!" Just like my Adam did in the car last month. The reminder I got from this lunch was to break things down and look at the pieces.... A-B-C Activity. So using sweet Adam as an example:

A (Antededent- before): I forgot the laptop, he wanted the lap top.

B (Behavior): Meltdown, yelling PLEASE!!!!!

C (Consequences): He got offered any other electronic device he wanted, he got my undivided attention and my apologies and promise to never do it again.

Is C realistic? HECK NO! I am totally going to forget that computer again, probably soon.

Sounds like its reality check time in this Lunatic Autism Mom's home..... just because you want something (no matter how badly) you cannot always have it. (examples: climbing on the roof, driving the car, eating only chocolate cake for a week (but YUM!), giving away mommy's cat because she scratched you, I could seriously go on for days here).

Do you LOVE Pinterest? Yeah, I'm totally obsessed. If you want, check out &/or follow my AUTISM board! I pin things like Autism sayings, Autism products that I love, other sites that I want to read some day (in my copious amounts of spare time) and other stuff! Here's the link:

My Lunatic Autism Pinterest Board

And here's one of my favorite sayings from that board that is sooooooo applicable to this post!

LEGO DIGITAL DESIGN SOFTWARE-- free!!!  <--click this


  1. Thank you so much for the link to get the lego digital kids love this :)

  2. YAY! I'm happy to help! I'm so glad Lego offered this for free but I totally would have paid for it! We love it that much! ENJOY!!!!