Sunday, January 13, 2013

Oil vs. Water

I remember back to the day of our diagnosis. I was five months pregnant with Adam and Cameron was 2.5 years old. I remember having a very frank conversation with my husband in the weeks after about whether or not it would be better to have two kids with Autism or one with and one without. The doctor had so helpfully informed us that we had a 20% chance of a second Autistic child just before he gave us the pamphlet about the Sibling Study they were doing.

We weighed the pros and cons, spent countless hours trying to decide if it would be easier to have two ASD kids or just one. Maybe if they were both ASD then they would form a bond and be each others true friend. Maybe if one was neuro-typical then he would be able to help take care of our ASD child in the future (I know, a totally unfair thought but we had it). And we went on and on for weeks.... like we thought we had a choice!!!!  hahahahahahaha! I see now how absurd those conversations were but I guess back then we still had time for absurd conversations.

In the end, we got our wish, or we didn't. I don't think we ever came up with a conclusion or a preference, but we have two boys with Autism.  What we did not expect was that we got OIL and WATER Autism! Every strength in one is a weakness in another. Every interest one has the other cares not a lick! One talked late, one talked early. One walked early, one walked late. One just "gets" math, the other has excellent reading comprehension. One is oil, one is water.

My boys are proof positive that every child is unique, every child with Autism is different and every disability has an ability.  Ask me today if I would rather have two children with Autism or one typical and one ASD and I still don't think I would have an answer. At this point it doesn't matter, and it didn't back then either. No matter what the outcome was going to be I was going to be their Mom and that is exactly what I wanted.

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